Thursday, December 9, 2010

Counting Your Blessings - Show Him You Love Him for Real

Does he see that you absolutely love him? Does he see that you care for him so much? Does he reciprocate by showing how much he loves you, too? Proof of your love for each other does not have to come from words. You can show it through little things here and there. Below is a list of things you can do to demonstrate your love for him as well as signs to see if he truly cares.


The Little Things Mean Big

Although it is always a wonderful birthday gift to receive a classy perfume or a stunning dress, such do not automatically mean your boyfriend adores you. What truly matters are the nice things you get when there is no occasion at all. Some nice wine for the both of you to enjoy, rather than cans of beer for him alone, spells romance. In the same way, bringing home a six-pack is a little way of showing that you care for your guy.

Money Cannot Buy Love

How high the figure on the price tag attached to a present does not necessarily relate to how much one loves another. Not everyone can buy pricey presents. Your guy will be grateful enough if you give him gifts that are well-thought of and reflect your love more than its dollar price. Everyone knows that a poor fellow who would buy a bouquet of roses for his girl than eat must really be in love.

Words and Actions Go Hand-in-Hand

The phrase "I love you" becomes so easy to say after some time. Does it really mean much? Back your words with a little bit of loving action, like whipping up his favorite pasta (or whatever dish he enjoys). When he is surprised by the act, give him a soft kiss and whisper, "I love you this much" in his ear.

A Plan When His Actions Do not Show His Love

It is really amazing to love and be loved. However, it has cannot be that amazing for you or the relationship if you are the only one loving. Your guy may, in fact, be taking all the benefits even after you give him more than your all. That said, his falling in love with you simply is not a given even if you go to great lengths to show him your affection. Most of the time, it is not. It may be time to stop giving if you just do not get anything back. He may end up realizing his mistakes or you could call it quits. Whatever may happen, it is definitely better than just giving all the time and receiving zero back.

There are many things you can do to show your love in place of just saying it. It is a different story however if you have no one to show your love to. How do you draw a man towards you and make him adore you? We can let you know, too.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Sweet Words Every Woman Would Love To Hear- Be Absolutely Sensational And Blow Her Over

tell that you love me
Nothing in this world can match the power of words. Words can make or destroy whatever bid thing you have. In relationships, words are the key weapons that work best for a man. You can play around with the feelings of a woman simply by using the most appropriate words. Words that build. Sweet words every woman would love to hear. Blow her mind by saying the right words at the right time. A woman is a tender and vulnerable being with a lot of self consciousness. Sometimes or actually many times she does not feel surefooted. She needs reassurances now and then. It makes her feel good by stroking her the right way with good words off course. You will make her feel absolutely sensational and ensure that she does not leave your fold.

You look youthful, gorgeous, vibrant and so full of energy, vigor and vitality. They are the echoes of Sweet words every woman would love to hear. Though this might not be her true picture considering the tell tale signs of aging, they will blow her over. No woman wants to be told that she has lost her radiance of youth. She does not want to be told that their is a streak of grey hair that is slowly colonizing her head. She has now lost that spring and sure footed ness of her younger days. But in every woman their is that young girl inside her that needs to be spoilt and played with. The girl is just crazy about attention and craves for it sometimes. Bring the young girl out of the woman and play with her. You will be amazed at how close she will be with you. You will have vanquished the last pockets of resistance in her heart if their existed any.

I can never get enough of you. Even after you have won the heart of a woman and she is now your partner, it is not the end of it all. The buck does not stop there. She needs to be reassured every time and all the time. Sweet words every woman would love to hear. She is your woman and she wants to know and feel that what attracted you to her has not fizzled out. She wants to be reassured that the fire is still burning in the relationship. She wants to know that the spark that made you fall madly in love is still there and has not died out. By sweetly telling her you can hardly get enough of her, it assures her that she is still attractive to you. It puts to rest her fears that your affection towards her might be fizzling out. She wants to know that she still holds the same position she held when you fell head over heels in love with her.

Sweet words work wonders with women. Sweet words every woman would love to hear. Tell her she is sexy, one of a kind. You will not realize how such words sound like good music to her ears. It improves her personality by boosting her confidence and self esteem. It puts so much pleasure in her heart to know that she has a sexual appeal that does not pass unnoticed. Tell her you adore her. It is so sensational you will always have her tucked under your arm.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

60 Words and Phrases that Make Men Fall Deeper in Love

The interesting thing about getting the love you deserve is that you have a great deal of influence in the kind of love you get. Most times, the love one gets is a function of the kind of love one gives. And when it comes to love, communication is the fuel that fans its flame. The words you choose can be the difference between a relationship where there is constant drama or one that is nurturing, blissful and romantic.

Now that you know that, let me share a little bit of the kinds of words that just simply turns men on and makes them want to love you even more.


1. Honey

2. Sweetheart

3. Sweetie

4. Baby

5. Darling

6. Sexy

7. Fine

8. Handsome

9. Stud muffin

10. Sugar

11. You just make me feel so good.

12. You are the best.

13. I can't get enough of you.

14. You drive me wild.

15. You know me inside and out.

16. I love you so much.

17. I love you with all my heart and soul.

18. You make me laugh.

19. You are so funny.

20. I love the way you love me.

21. I love the way you make me feel.

22. I never want you to stop loving me.

23. I don't know what I would do without you in my life.

24. You make me feel so special.

25. I need you in my life.

26. You just made my day.

27. I can't get enough of your hugs and kisses.

28. I apologize.

29. I promise to love you forever.

30. You are the one for me.

31. I don't need anyone else in my life.

32. You are more than enough for me.

33. Marry me and make me the happiest woman.

34. I have always loved you and will always love you.

35. I miss you so much.

36. I am so lonely without you.

37. My life is empty without you.

38. I can't wait to see you.

39. I want to be with you forever.

40. I love the way you hold me.

41. It kills me to know that you will be gone for a long time.

42. I feel like I am dreaming when I am with you.

43. I have never been loved like this before.

44. I'd love to wake up next to you forever.

45. It hurts me so much to see you this way.

46. If I can't be with you, then I don't want to be with anyone else.

47. I am not waiting for a knight in shining armor - mine has already arrived.

48. If your kisses were wishes I would make a 1000 wishes.

49. Life has never been better since you came into my life.

50. I can't believe we have been together for so long. I guess time flies when you are having fun.

51. I will go to the ends of the world for you.

52. Life without your love is a life I'd rather not live.

53. I love the way you look at me.

54. I trust you with all my heart.

55. Thank you for all you have done for me.

56. The words "I love you" are not enough to express how I feel about you.

57. I can't find the words to express how you make me feel.

58. You make me feel like I am the luckiest girl in the world.

59. Just being with you is enough for me to have a great time.

60. You don't have to say a word for me to feel your love.

Life without endearing words is like being in a garden without flowers. Endearing words create a feeling that transcends our reality and makes life worth living.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

How To Make Him Fall In Love With You Again - These Tips Never Fail To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back

Ex boyfriend back
When you think you have found the true love of your life, and then he tells you he needs some space, your life can fall apart fast. The rosy future you had envisioned with him disappears and you become an emotional mess. All you can think of is how to make him fall in love with you again. If you find yourself with this problem. These tips never fail to get your ex boyfriend back.

One of the biggest problems you will face is being afraid of losing him to someone else. That will make you want to stay close to him, so he will not forget you. How can he forget you when you have been such an important part of his life? He cannot forget you anymore than you can forget him. But you do have to make him miss you and staying in his face is not the way to do it.

You need to put as much distance between the two of you as possible. Any contact at this time will only result in more hard feelings and problems. You are too emotional and he is still angry. That combination does not make for pleasant conversation. There needs to be a cooling off period before any thought of getting your ex back can be successful. Every time you pressure him you make the time of getting him back a little longer.

In fact you should be giving him the impression that you are just fine with the breakup. Instead of trying to get him to talk to you, you should be ignoring him. This might sound strange, but to make him fall in love with you again, you have to make him think you do not want him anymore. That is why you cannot let him think you are trying to get him back.

When you do not try to get him back or stop trying to get him back, he will be confused. His ego has made him think he is the most important person in your life. Ignoring him and moving on will severely bruise his ego. Once he thinks you are slipping away from him, he will have to go into action to get you back. Men cannot stand to lose something they feel belongs to them and he still considers you his girlfriend.

When the breakup reaches this point, you are in control again, just as you were when you first met him. He had to come after you and convince you to be his girlfriend when he first met you. Now, you have him back in that same position. This situation is familiar to you, because you have been here before. You played a little hard to get and led him on a chase. To get your ex boyfriend back, just do the same thing and you will make him fall in love with you again.

Monday, September 13, 2010

I Love You - The Most Important Words

We all know how important the words "I Love You" are, but are they really the most important words in the world? In a world where hundreds of languages and endless billions of phrases have been spoken over our thousands of years of recorded history, could three short words like I Love You really exist as most important, consequential phrase ever spoken?

There's no doubt that for certain individuals throughout history, I Love You did not end up being the most important words they ever heard. But for our culture and society as a whole, and where all of history is concerned, it's arguable that I Love You (and all of its equivalents in other languages) are indeed the most important words in the world.

Love in its many different forms has undoubtedly been the driving force behind much of the world's progress, wars, and monumental developments. Whether it is love of country, love of self, or the desired love of another, the words "I Love You" have played a much larger role in the development of humanity than the history books suggest.

While there are specific recorded examples of romantic love changing the course of history (think of the face that "launched a thousand ships," for example), love almost certainly exists as the influence behind many other significant events in history. While mankind's need for power is often blamed for many wars and innovations, the need to defend something we love or earn the love of another is undoubtedly a strong influence in these events, as well.

Few words have the power and life-changing influence as I Love You, even for the vast majority of us who have no influence on the world stage, politics or international disputes. For the rich and famous as well as the average person, I Love You carries a huge weight both physically and psychologically. Everyone wants to be loved, regardless of whether they admit it or not, and hearing the words I Love You is a huge comfort to every person in the world.

So, are the words I Love You the most important words in the world? Ask yourself, is I Love You really the most important phrase in the world for you personally, as well? If they are, then you might be able to create the type of romantic relationship that goes down in history. If not, then you might not be ready yet; but that's not to say that you won't be someday in the future.

Above all else, romance is patient. Never rush into anything, and if it doesn't feel like the time to say those special three words, then love may just have to wait a while!

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Ways you can improve the health of your Love environment.

love relationships is not perfectJust as we pollute our planet’s environment, we also pollute our relationships through our behavior and the methods we use to get what we want.

No relationship is perfect. Every relationship needs maintenance, as well as a clean up from time to time, so that it can stay healthy and on the right track. Not only that, but a relationship also requires a couple to find new ways of cleaning it up- since a relationship changes and grows in time- with new experiences and issues.love Pollution

As much as we all want to keep our relationship happy at all times, it is just not a realistic desire. While you might have a lot in common with your partner, you two are still two individual human beings with your own personal goals, passions and desires that you wish to achieve in your lives. You and your partner may not always see eye to eye on everything and this causes conflicts. One or both of you may also get lazy in time, not investing as much effort as you used to when the relationship was young and fresh. Does this mean that your partner (or you) no longer cares? Probably not- but it does mean that you and your partner have settled in too deeply in the comfort zone of your relationship and need to get up and give your relationship a good work out, so that it can get back in shape.

The following are common ways we pollute our relationships with negativity, as well as suggestions on how you can cleans things up and improve your relationship’s health.

Polluter #1: Laziness

Laziness is never your friend. It holds you back and keeps you from accomplishing goals that will make you feel happy and fulfilled. Just as laziness hurts you in your academic and career field, it hurts you in your relationships as well. It is only natural that both you and your partner will become comfortable as your relationship matures. The more time you spend together, the less concerned you become with staying on your toes and impressing one another, because you trust that you both love each other. There is nothing wrong with being comfortable in a relationship. In fact, you should feel safe and comfortable with your partner. However, there is such thing as getting too comfortable in a relationship. If you hang out in the comfort zone most of the time, that means you are no longer trying to find ways to excite each other and bring new joys into the relationship. At one point, you two will drift apart and will become bored- leading one or both of you to perhaps look outside the relationship for excitement, and/or break up.

What you can do: If your relationship is already suffering from the pollution of laziness, then it is time for both you and your partner to get up and get active! Do things to let your partner know that you are still crazy about him/her, as well as let him/her know things you would like for them to do for you, or with you. Find new places to visit together, new hobbies to get active in- whatever you both feel you will enjoy in each other’s company. It does not have to be anything big or extravagant, as long as you both work together in keeping the relationship active.

Polluter #2: Arguments

It is not really the arguing that is the polluter here, but more the way you argue that is. Arguing is normal and is important, because it plays a big role in bringing you and your partner closer together. Arguing is reasoning people give one another when they are for or against something. Through arguing, you and your lover learn the differences that exist between you and can use this information to understand each other better and therefore respect each other more, as well as behave more considerately towards one another. Arguments can help a relationship become even stronger and healthier…when you do it in a positive manner. Unfortunately, we often handle arguments in a negative manner, because to most of us arguments equal negative and this point of view causes us to behave negatively in an argument. Before you know it, what is supposed to be a constructive and learning experience, ends up being a fight of him vs. her with the goal to win and be right, rather than working together in finding a compromise.

What you can do: First of all, it is important that you keep reminding yourself that arguments are not a bad thing. Keep reminding yourself this until you truly understand it, so that the next time you get involved in an argument with your partner, you will not have your defenses up ready to enter a fight. Instead enter an argument with an open mind and heart, ready to problem solve- rather than enter a fighting contest. Do not be afraid or shy to talk to your partner about arguing. Remember, open and honest communication is key and if you and your lover talk about this when you two are happy and not arguing, you will be able to set your goals about this open and clear mindedly. It is essential that you both remember that when arguments do come to surface, the point is to attack the problem and not the person. Getting angry and feeling hurt during arguments is okay, as long as you express your anger and hurt productively and not in a way to just hurt your part back. Polluter #3: Denial

Denial is a huge relationship polluter. Many of us want to desperately believe that everything is fine or will work itself out in our relationship, causing us to blind ourselves from many truths. Every relationship will have problems and obstacles that are both painful and anger inducing, so while you can denial problems all you want- you are actually only making things worse for your relationship. Ignoring problems does not make them go away, but in fact makes them grow and grow until your relationship is hanging by its last thread. There are times when two people will grow apart and break up because of that, but often times; a relationship does not have to fall apart due to problems. Most relationship troubles can be worked out, but that requires the acceptance of these troubles from both partners involved.

What you can do: Be realistic and accept the fact that you and your partner can love each others and have problems at the same time. Understanding that having conflicts between you and your partner does mean you do not love each other anymore will help you avoid entering the denial zone. When a problem comes along, talk to your partner about it and do not avoid conversation when your partner approaches you about something. Brushing issues off will actually tear you two apart, because issues cannot work themselves out. If you really want to be with your partner, then you need to be a team member in your relationship at all times- the good and the bad. If do not want to lose your relationship and you want to make it last, then do not pretend everything is perfect. Love your relationship unconditionally by accepting it’s imperfections and teaming up with your lover in making improvements where they are needed (whether it is in the communication, trust, passion or commitment department) so your relationship can strengthen from both it’s positive and negative sides, rather than weaken due to denial on your or your partner’s part.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Sad love quotes and friendship

tell that you love herSad Love Words are the best way to help you feel better when you are in a situation of an end of friendship. We all lost a friend in some point of our life. Some of them might be close to us some might very important to us but the sad true is that it over.

So what you can do about it? Of course you can drown in sorrow and disturbed your daily life, but this is not the right solution for you. A better solution is to move on with your life, I know it might be hard for you at first, but there is something that might help you to get over it – sad love quotes and friendship quotes.

The written words hold secrets inside them. This is the secret of changing your mood to a positive one. It is like music, when you feel down and can really lift you up. And if it doesn't works than you need to go further and even dance! Yes I never saw a dancing person that is sad. The same thing is with quotes. When you are reading sad quotes you might think that you will be sadder after it. But the true is really surprising – it help you to get over the end of the Friendship Quotes.

Those sad love quotes will help you to remember the good time with your friend; figure out what went wrong so you will be able to fix it in this relationship or the next one. And above all it will give you the strength to move on with your life to new adventures.

"Real loss only occurs when you lose something you love more than yourself"

As the quote above state, yes it can happen again some day, and you will find again a special person to care about but only if you will love yourself first. And in order to do it you have to move on and hope for better days.

Friday, August 13, 2010

Find True Love - Even If You Are Afraid Of Flirting And Dating

True relationships* Are you afraid of being rejected?
* Do you fear getting hurt when being involved with someone?
* Are you scared of saying or doing the wrong thing on a date?
* Do you fear letting go of your freedom as a single?

Well, you're not alone. Sometimes I get the feeling that singles look at dating and flirting as a horror movie. Most people I meet in my job as a love coach are deep down so scared that they start acting weird – and therefore stay single.

To be successful, find true love and live happily ever after, you need to embrace the fear and go for it anyway. Even the bravest of the brave feel fear, but the key to their courage is that they don't fear stop them! They feel the tingling in their bellies and they still do whatever they are afraid of.

Three things singles do out of fear and what you can do to handle it better.

1. You date many at the same time. It gives you a feeling of having a big safety net to fall in if one of the people you are seeing dumps you. But if you deep down assume you will be dumped, that is likely to happen, so expect instead success - and reach success. Dare to focus on one person and do your best. You are much more attractive when you're committed and concentrated on one person.

2. You don't date at all or finish every time it's heating up or they want to meet you irl. This keeps you away from getting the emotions that could be strong both up and down. Stop being such a coward and get out there! You won't find the love of your life in your apartment. Think: “What is the worst thing that can happen? Can I live with that?” And then think: “What is the best thing that can happen? Do I want that?”

3. You find faults in everyone you meet or don't believe in true love. Being bitter and picky keeps you away from true love where you yourself can be judged. Realize there is no such thing as a perfect person. No person will ever be 100 % - not even you... If you're open for 85 % partners you can find a true relationship instead of being single. It is not about taking Second best; it's about choosing to fall in love instead of being alone and waiting.

Other things we also do out of fear: We only date people who are “impossible”, like too young, already married or over seas; we stop having feelings for anyone at all or we scare people away, being clingy and desperate. In short, we sabotage for ourselves when we don´t have faith. But dear single, you should trust love! Fear is a part of life. It's natural to be scared of new things. You put your heart out there, and it could be dangerous so I'm not telling you to stop being scared – I'm telling you to accept the fear and do what you want anyway!

If you keep doing what you do today, you will get what you have today – not more. So loooove the scary parts of dating. Go for even more blind dates - and realise it wasn´t that bad after all! Tell more people you like them! Commit and get involved. Find true love. Feel alive! You will love it.

Monday, August 9, 2010

Love And Boundaries

Love relationshipsWe tend to think of love as an all encompassing, overwhelming, positive feeling. We say, “I love you” and think that solves all our conflicts and arguments with our partner. During the initial stages of love, often referred to as an infatuation phase, boundaries are melted and dissolve away. We enter into the realms of the other person’s reality. We merge together. Our life becomes theirs, theirs ours. We lose ourselves. We become one. It’s a wonderful, marvelous feeling. For a while. At some point, we want ourselves back. We begin to erect some boundaries. The relationship appears to be pulling apart. Arguments and conflicts occur. We say “I love you” in hopes of remaining merged with the other person.

Love is not a static state. It is a process. There are stages. For love to endure between a couple, each person needs to maintain their individuality. The merging and melting of individuality in the initial stages is certainly important for bonding and building attachment. However, subsequent stages of love require each person to develop as an individual. When a love relationship smothers individuality, it becomes toxic. A healthy adult love relationship that has passed the infatuation stage will come to acknowledge, honor and respect the individuality of the partner. That individuality will, by definition, have a set of boundaries. Individuality and boundaries go together like a designated territory and fences. Of course, that territory has gateways in and out. It is not a secluded territory. But, it is a sovereign territory.

There are many examples wherein love and boundaries co-exist quite well. Parents love their children by establishing clear boundaries of acceptable and unacceptable behaviors. Children feel this love as consistency, structure and safety. Husband and wife may show their love of each other through respecting their partner’s idiosyncrasies, without trying to bend or alter them to meet their own needs. Teachers, managers, parents, friends, therapists and other roles we may take, can show love through boundaries in what is referred to as ‘tough love.’

Tough love is simply firmness. Too often love can be wimpy, weak, wishy- washy. Tough love is direct, clear, and concise. Tough love sets specific boundaries of behavior. Tough love is not violent, nor based in anger. Tough love is based on genuine caring. When a parent expresses tough love through vehement exhortations about not running into the street, it is based on the welfare of the child. When two lovers absolutely insist on no telephone contact during work hours for professional reasons, that is based on the welfare of the relationship. It is okay to be tough and firm when establishing and maintaining boundaries, if needed. An enduring love relationship without boundaries is like a glass of water without the glass….there is no shape, no form, no container. Love needs boundaries to have definition in much the same way children need structure to feel safe.

Unfortunately, as children our boundaries are often violated. Later in life we may have little or no respect for boundaries. A child who is spanked repeatedly while being told ‘this is for you own good; I’m only doing this because I love you’ will develop a belief that love = violation of boundaries or love = pain. When two people who have such beliefs get together, domestic violence is not uncommon. There may be expectations to violate boundaries as a way of demonstrating love. One or both partners may provoke such behaviors to verify that there is ‘love.’

Love takes many forms from the romantic and erotic to the familial and filial to the spiritual and altruistic. In every case, individual boundaries are going to play some role, more or less. Even if they are exceedingly minimized during some period, long standing, enduring love between two people will accept, honor and respect individual boundaries which themselves are not fixed in stone, do adjust over time and can be one of the more important considerations in a love relationship.

Monday, August 2, 2010

Give Love to Other People


I personally feel much more content and happy with myself when I am sharing love with others. There is not enough love giving in our world I am noticing more and more everyday. Why is this happening?

I have seen many articles written on love and most of them either revolve around religion or sexual relationships. Today I want to talk about love that everyone is capable of giving and receiving.

Sometimes I personally feel those without any religious background give love to other people more freely, mainly because they accept others for who they are as a person. To only accept others on what their belief systems you are actually shutting yourself off from some valuable life skills, these are the ones that help you connect with others.

Life is way to short to being sitting around hating and judging. Don't let things that have happened in the past stop you from having a loving future. If we want to have less dysfunction in our world we have to stop the cycle of hate and give love to other people.

Shame on the many religious people who can't help but to judge others. Judgment is a sign of you own in adequate feelings and hate well this also goes back to how you feel about yourself.

Now I'm not saying that life will ever be perfect. It can't be or there would be nothing for us to learn we would just be existing. But we can make choices to love ourselves warts and all and give love to other people.

Of course there will be times when we will all struggle to maintain a loving life, especially when we lose a loved one or are let down by others. Do you think hard times in your life is a good reason to not give love to other people?

I certainly don't think so, it can actually give your more strength to get through your hard times. To give love to other people can be done in so many ways. You don't have to make it this huge thing that you can only share with those close to you.

If you maintain a loving attitude and share your smiles and well wishes with others you are giving love to other people. If you stop to see if someone is alright when you are out and about this is being loving. Which means you can give love to other people.

Why are we so afraid of sharing this wonderful emotion with others? Is there really anything to lose from be loving?

Remember we learn through every experience so even the times you did give love to other people and it was not received positively, there was something to learn. Do you think it was to not love again?

No way we are made to be loving creatures, no matter who we are, what we do or where we live. I know this is an area in everyone's life that always needs adjustments. Imagine the change in this world if more people were concerned with what they were giving and not what they want for themselves next.

So helpfully you get the importance of why we should give love to other people. All people have so much good in them and imagine what feeling loved can bring out for those not receiving enough.

I hope you enjoyed this, keep smiling and never stop giving love to others.

Monday, July 26, 2010

How To Talk Dirty

Love wordsTalking dirty to the one you love (or even just the one you’re with) is one of those sexual behaviors people are uncomfortable with the first time they do it, and the first time they do it with a new partner. To do it well means letting loose and exposing yourself, which always feels scary the first time. Here are some steps to getting comfortable with dirty talk, and ideas for introducing into your sex play.
Time Required: Learning to talk dirty is a labor of love, it takes time!

Here's How:

1. Be authentic in your dirty talk.
Dirty talk can feel silly if you expect it to be what you’ve seen in the movies. You might have this idea that dirty talk is something specific. But good dirty talk is completely what you make it, and to do it well, you have to be yourself. While you may take on a role in your dirty talk (e.g. the ravished submissive) you need to find something of yourself in the role. Make a list of different aspects of your personality you can draw on for inspiration.

2. Find your dirty talk voice.
You need to find your own way of talking dirty. Your dirty talk might be low rhythmic grunts, high pitched squeals, or precise whispers. It might reflect the way you talk in your daily life, or it might express a different aspect of your personality. You don’t need to pick only one voice, the element of surprise can add an extra sense of anticipation, when your partner doesn’t know what they’re going to get an earful of next!

3. Expand your dirty talk vocabulary.
Most of us are raised not to swear. Dirty talk is your opportunity to pull out all the stops on the foul mouth express. Unless you’re role playing calls for it, avoid clinical terms (like penis). If you’re at a loss, do some research. Both of the books recommended below have lists of love words. But you can do research online, by reading some raunchy erotica, or in some cases watching porn (although the dirty talk in porn tends to be unimaginative).

4. Practice dirty talk when you're alone.
Carol Queen, author of the highly recommended Exhibitionism for the Shy , suggests starting on your own, talking dirty while you masturbate. Fantasize about having sex with your partner and talking dirty to them. You can start by doing it in your head, but eventually do it out loud.

5. Establish ground rules with your partner.
One of the reasons many of us don’t talk dirty is fear of sounding ridiculous, or being put down or rejected by a partner. It’s important to set some rules when you’re willing to take risks like this. Rules like no laughing at one another, and no judgment are important. In the heat of the moment anything can come out of your mouth, and you need to know that your partner is respectful of the ways that can be exposing.

6. Start slow the first time.
Don’t feel you have to rush right into elaborate verbal gymnastics. A great way to start with dirty talk is to describe out loud what is happening during sex. Things like “I love the way your hand feels in my….” Or “Your …feels so good on/in my…” Describe what’s happening and how it feels in your body. You can also experiment by telling your partner something you’re going to do to them, or something you want them to do to you.

7. Experiment with your voice.
Most of us take for granted all the different things we can do with our voice, and the impact these changes have. Experiment with speed, how fast you talk. Some things call for a staccato barrage, while some things are best said slowly. Change the volume of your voice, try whispering, try screaming, try everything in the middle. Also play with the tenor of your voice. You can sound commanding and harsh, trembling and uncertain, and everywhere in between.

8. Make dirty talking a two way conversation.
Once you’ve taken the risk and initiated talking dirty with your partner, ask them to do the same. It isn’t for everyone, and you might find that you like doing it more than hearing it (or vice versa). But being on the receiving and the giving end of dirty talk can give you a different perspective on it, plus you may learn a few things from your partner you didn’t already know.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Men & Women's Sexual Arousal Rates

The sexual arousal rates in men and women may be more similar than you think.
Sexual arousal rates in men and women

The psychology of sexual arousal rates was fascinating long before Alfred Kinsey researched it. Kinsey was the first to make men and women's sexual arousal rates public and acceptable (though how acceptable his research was is debatable!). New research about sexual arousal rates reveal that men and women get excited at the same rate, which seems hard to believe. Don't men think of sex hundreds of times a day, thus increasing their sexual arousal rates?
Sexual arousal rates in men and women: McGill's study

McGill University researchers found that men and women have sexual arousal rates that are more or less equal. However it's important to remember that any time humans or animals are involved in laboratory studies, their responses aren’t quite the same as in “real life.” Researchers do their best to simulate real life situations when they're studying sexual arousal rates in men and women – and they can come really close – but it’s not quite the same. Would these research results about sexual arousal rates be the same if study participants were in their own homes, with their own lovers?

Maybe, maybe not. The psychology of sexual arousal rates in men and woumen may color the results of the research.
Many factors are involved in a research study on the sexual arousal rates in women and men:

Place affects men and women's sexual arousal rates. The subjects watched a movie with video goggles and other measurements of their sexual response rates. This is much different than having sex at home (or on the train, plane, desk, photocopier, etc). How applicable are the lab findings to "real" sexual arousal situations and sexual arousal rates? It's difficult to say.

Lover versus movie affects men and women's sexual arousal rates. With a real-life lover, most men and women (especially women) are affected by their surroundings, who is nearby making noise, how fat they feel, whether they have gas, if birth control is available, how hairy their legs are, how intimate their relationship is, what a colleague said as they were leaving the office, if they're fighting with their sister, and so on… In light of this, do the study’s results about sexual arousal rates in women and men transfer to real-life sexual situations? It may be easier for women to become aroused by watching a movie in a quiet, unpressured research situation than at home with all sorts of real-life distractions.

Participants affect men and women's sexual arousal rates. The participants in this study were “healthy subjects”. What does this mean? Were they 21 year old sexually active university students who may experience maximal sexual arousal in minutes? Were they married, gay, straight, parents of small children, overworked lawyers or pastors? In other words, how representative were they of the middle-aged adult population? Whether they're involved in healthy or unstable relationships is another factor that affects sexual arousal rates in men and women.

Definitions of men and women's sexual arousal rates. What exactly is “maximal sexual arousal”? In the study, men reached maximal arousal in 664.6 seconds; women in 743 seconds. I’m not sure if this means the same thing in both genders, or if they can even be compared. For men, it probably means full erection. For women, does it mean ready for instant penetration? Maybe. But even when a woman feels aroused, she may not quite be ready for penetration. This may affect the definition of sexual arousal rates in women.

Applicability of men and women's sexual arousal rates. Finally, what real-life differences do these sexual arousal results make in the bedroom - or in a healthy relationship? If I don’t get aroused at the same rate as my husband, it doesn’t matter what this or any study reveals about sexual arousal rates in women and men. That said, it is interesting for research purposes. As Dr. Binik states, the results will help treat sexual arousal disorders in women, which is excellent because we could all use a good orgasm now and then!

Feeling connected and intimate with your partner - and not nervous when you're naked - may be more important than sexual arousal rates.

You’re not abnormal or weird - nor is your partner - if your sexual arousal rates aren't the same as the research findings. So, don’t set the timer and expect to be going at full boar after 743 seconds…unless of course you’re watching a sexually arousing movie with special video goggles in a darkened research lab.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Words of Love

Once upon a time, there were men, who thought love is the most frivolous activity of the world. And then there were men, who believed in love but did not have the courage to stand up. Finally, there came those beings, who understood what is it to be in love and and how great it feels to stand up for true emotions. These men dared to go against the world and won their beloved.

From thence people started collecting all the sayings of love and scribbled it in the Eternal Book Of Love. This book is the sole witness of the lovers tryst with destiny and the wars endured by them.

Love is like the Pandora's box. One keeps on discovering secrets and emotions of love as they delve in the interiors of this box. Your heart is full of love for your beloved. But, you are unable to express it in beautiful words. Here are a few heart touching words of love that would enable you to reflect your love. Your love relationship will be full of passion and romance with these beautiful words of love.

Make your beloved feel special by sending heart felt words of love right from the Pandora's box. You may also send a romantic love letter. It would be an immensely romantic gesture. Here are a few beautiful words of love.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Love Is a Way of Being

Walking Love coupleLove isn't something that someone causes us to feel, but a state of being that we experience whenever we are fully present in the moment to whatever or whomever is showing up. Love is our natural state, and we experience our natural state whenever the chattering mind is quiet or simply ignored. This state of being is one of peace, acceptance, and love. The only thing that can interfere with experiencing the love of our true nature is absorption in our thoughts and any feelings generated by those thoughts. When we are lost in our mental and emotional world, we miss out on reality, on the real experience of this moment. In our mental world, thoughts about life substitute for real life. When we drop out of these thoughts about ourselves and how our life is going, life can be experienced more purely, and when it is, love naturally flows to whatever or whomever we are experiencing.

Love is a way of being with others. When we are attentive, curious, and interested in others, love naturally flows to them from inside us. This outward flow of love is the experience of love. This flow of love is not dependent on who or what is in front of us, on what someone is doing, or on whether someone is being loving toward us, but on whether we are fully engaged with and accepting of that person and whatever is happening in the moment. Love is a state of being that is activated by giving attention to something or someone.

Many of us experience an absence or lack of love because we are giving our attention to thoughts about life instead of real life. When we give attention to our thoughts about life, we are loving our mental world, and that mental world isn't real, and it is very often a negative world, where nothing and no one is ever good enough. When we are invested in this mental world, our conditioned beliefs, judgments, fears, desires, and expectations seem really important, and these are what cause problems in our relationships. We think we need people to be a certain way for us to love them and be happy with them, but that just isn't true. It just seems true because we tend to choose to love (accept and give attention to) those who look and do things the way we want.

But love doesn't have to be limited in this way. We can choose to love even when others aren't meeting our desires or fitting our fantasies and expectations. Our conditioned ideas and desires are not more important than love, unless we allow them to be, which is a recipe for difficulty in relationship. When we can move beyond our desires, needs, expectations, fantasies, and judgments, then love is possible with anyone at any time. That doesn't mean you would choose to be in a relationship with just anyone, but it is possible to experience love in relating to anyone, since love comes from being interested in, attentive to, and accepting of someone, which is possible when we are not judging them or finding reasons to close our hearts to them and withdraw our interest and attention.

Love is something we have the power to experience because we have the power to give love. When we give love, we experience it; when we withhold it, we don't. The more we can overcome the judgments and other conditioning that cause us to withhold our love (i.e., our acceptance and attention) from others, the more we will experience love. It is as simple as that, but not necessarily easy to put into practice. We tend to really believe our judgments and other ideas that cause us to close our hearts to others, but we don't have to. We can say no to the judgments and other conditioning that interfere with love. When we do so, our experience of life is transformed. Love is readily available whenever we turn away from our judgments and negative conditioning and allow ourselves to be fully engaged with and interested in the real person in front of us.