Find True Love - Even If You Are Afraid Of Flirting And Dating

* Are you afraid of being rejected?
* Do you fear getting hurt when being involved with someone?
* Are you scared of saying or doing the wrong thing on a date?
* Do you fear letting go of your freedom as a single?

Well, you're not alone. Sometimes I get the feeling that singles look at dating and flirting as a horror movie. Most people I meet in my job as a love coach are deep down so scared that they start acting weird – and therefore stay single.

To be successful, find true love and live happily ever after, you need to embrace the fear and go for it anyway. Even the bravest of the brave feel fear, but the key to their courage is that they don't fear stop them! They feel the tingling in their bellies and they still do whatever they are afraid of.

Three things singles do out of fear and what you can do to handle it better.

1. You date many at the same time. It gives you a feeling of having a big safety net to fall in if one of the people you are seeing dumps you. But if you deep down assume you will be dumped, that is likely to happen, so expect instead success - and reach success. Dare to focus on one person and do your best. You are much more attractive when you're committed and concentrated on one person.

2. You don't date at all or finish every time it's heating up or they want to meet you irl. This keeps you away from getting the emotions that could be strong both up and down. Stop being such a coward and get out there! You won't find the love of your life in your apartment. Think: “What is the worst thing that can happen? Can I live with that?” And then think: “What is the best thing that can happen? Do I want that?”

3. You find faults in everyone you meet or don't believe in true love. Being bitter and picky keeps you away from true love where you yourself can be judged. Realize there is no such thing as a perfect person. No person will ever be 100 % - not even you... If you're open for 85 % partners you can find a true relationship instead of being single. It is not about taking Second best; it's about choosing to fall in love instead of being alone and waiting.

Other things we also do out of fear: We only date people who are “impossible”, like too young, already married or over seas; we stop having feelings for anyone at all or we scare people away, being clingy and desperate. In short, we sabotage for ourselves when we don´t have faith. But dear single, you should trust love! Fear is a part of life. It's natural to be scared of new things. You put your heart out there, and it could be dangerous so I'm not telling you to stop being scared – I'm telling you to accept the fear and do what you want anyway!

If you keep doing what you do today, you will get what you have today – not more. So loooove the scary parts of dating. Go for even more blind dates - and realise it wasn´t that bad after all! Tell more people you like them! Commit and get involved. Find true love. Feel alive! You will love it.

Love And Boundaries

We tend to think of love as an all encompassing, overwhelming, positive feeling. We say, “I love you” and think that solves all our conflicts and arguments with our partner. During the initial stages of love, often referred to as an infatuation phase, boundaries are melted and dissolve away. We enter into the realms of the other person’s reality. We merge together. Our life becomes theirs, theirs ours. We lose ourselves. We become one. It’s a wonderful, marvelous feeling. For a while. At some point, we want ourselves back. We begin to erect some boundaries. The relationship appears to be pulling apart. Arguments and conflicts occur. We say “I love you” in hopes of remaining merged with the other person.

Love is not a static state. It is a process. There are stages. For love to endure between a couple, each person needs to maintain their individuality. The merging and melting of individuality in the initial stages is certainly important for bonding and building attachment. However, subsequent stages of love require each person to develop as an individual. When a love relationship smothers individuality, it becomes toxic. A healthy adult love relationship that has passed the infatuation stage will come to acknowledge, honor and respect the individuality of the partner. That individuality will, by definition, have a set of boundaries. Individuality and boundaries go together like a designated territory and fences. Of course, that territory has gateways in and out. It is not a secluded territory. But, it is a sovereign territory.

There are many examples wherein love and boundaries co-exist quite well. Parents love their children by establishing clear boundaries of acceptable and unacceptable behaviors. Children feel this love as consistency, structure and safety. Husband and wife may show their love of each other through respecting their partner’s idiosyncrasies, without trying to bend or alter them to meet their own needs. Teachers, managers, parents, friends, therapists and other roles we may take, can show love through boundaries in what is referred to as ‘tough love.’

Tough love is simply firmness. Too often love can be wimpy, weak, wishy- washy. Tough love is direct, clear, and concise. Tough love sets specific boundaries of behavior. Tough love is not violent, nor based in anger. Tough love is based on genuine caring. When a parent expresses tough love through vehement exhortations about not running into the street, it is based on the welfare of the child. When two lovers absolutely insist on no telephone contact during work hours for professional reasons, that is based on the welfare of the relationship. It is okay to be tough and firm when establishing and maintaining boundaries, if needed. An enduring love relationship without boundaries is like a glass of water without the glass….there is no shape, no form, no container. Love needs boundaries to have definition in much the same way children need structure to feel safe.

Unfortunately, as children our boundaries are often violated. Later in life we may have little or no respect for boundaries. A child who is spanked repeatedly while being told ‘this is for you own good; I’m only doing this because I love you’ will develop a belief that love = violation of boundaries or love = pain. When two people who have such beliefs get together, domestic violence is not uncommon. There may be expectations to violate boundaries as a way of demonstrating love. One or both partners may provoke such behaviors to verify that there is ‘love.’

Love takes many forms from the romantic and erotic to the familial and filial to the spiritual and altruistic. In every case, individual boundaries are going to play some role, more or less. Even if they are exceedingly minimized during some period, long standing, enduring love between two people will accept, honor and respect individual boundaries which themselves are not fixed in stone, do adjust over time and can be one of the more important considerations in a love relationship.

Give Love to Other People

I personally feel much more content and happy with myself when I am sharing love with others. There is not enough love giving in our world I am noticing more and more everyday. Why is this happening?

I have seen many articles written on love and most of them either revolve around religion or sexual relationships. Today I want to talk about love that everyone is capable of giving and receiving.

Sometimes I personally feel those without any religious background give love to other people more freely, mainly because they accept others for who they are as a person. To only accept others on what their belief systems you are actually shutting yourself off from some valuable life skills, these are the ones that help you connect with others.

Life is way to short to being sitting around hating and judging. Don't let things that have happened in the past stop you from having a loving future. If we want to have less dysfunction in our world we have to stop the cycle of hate and give love to other people.

Shame on the many religious people who can't help but to judge others. Judgment is a sign of you own in adequate feelings and hate well this also goes back to how you feel about yourself.

Now I'm not saying that life will ever be perfect. It can't be or there would be nothing for us to learn we would just be existing. But we can make choices to love ourselves warts and all and give love to other people.

Of course there will be times when we will all struggle to maintain a loving life, especially when we lose a loved one or are let down by others. Do you think hard times in your life is a good reason to not give love to other people?

I certainly don't think so, it can actually give your more strength to get through your hard times. To give love to other people can be done in so many ways. You don't have to make it this huge thing that you can only share with those close to you.

If you maintain a loving attitude and share your smiles and well wishes with others you are giving love to other people. If you stop to see if someone is alright when you are out and about this is being loving. Which means you can give love to other people.

Why are we so afraid of sharing this wonderful emotion with others? Is there really anything to lose from be loving?

Remember we learn through every experience so even the times you did give love to other people and it was not received positively, there was something to learn. Do you think it was to not love again?

No way we are made to be loving creatures, no matter who we are, what we do or where we live. I know this is an area in everyone's life that always needs adjustments. Imagine the change in this world if more people were concerned with what they were giving and not what they want for themselves next.

So helpfully you get the importance of why we should give love to other people. All people have so much good in them and imagine what feeling loved can bring out for those not receiving enough.

I hope you enjoyed this, keep smiling and never stop giving love to others.